Today my wife told me that she gets embarrassed when she is around and I try to haggle. I guess I can understand, I used to be like that too, and only over time have I grown bolder. With this in mind, I have to ask why is it that in America, money seems to be taboo?
In other cultures around the world, you are considered stupid or odd if you don’t talk money. In most parts of the world if you buy something without haggling the salesman will probably make fun of you for being a sucker as soon as you walk away. In America haggling is only considered acceptable in 3 scenarios. The first scenario is if you are buying something from a street vendor (like in New York), the second when you are buying something off of craigslist, and finally, haggling is OK when you are buying a big ticket item like a car or a house.
For some reason society has deemed it alright to negotiate and talk money in these scenarios, but if haggling is acceptable in these scenarios, why isn’t it acceptable in your daily spending? If just by asking for a discount you could get one would you go against this social norm?
I frequently go against this norm, it doesn’t always work, but when it does it feels great. Think about it from the salesman’s perspective, if 5% or 10% off will close the deal and allow them get on to helping the next customer why not? And if 10% off saves you $5 will it be worth the awkward moment? The worst thing that could happen is that they will say no.
Talking money does not only mean haggling, it means sharing your salary, something strictly forbidden in America.
In other cultures sharing your salary is not about bragging, it’s just normal everyday conversation. Xin Lu over at Wise Bread wrote a great post about how her Chinese culture influences her money habits. In the post she talks about how her father once helped a friend get a 20% raise, something that would not have been possible had they not been talking about salaries.
If by sharing your salary a friend could tell you that you are undervalued and try to help you get a higher salary is it OK? If you got a 20% raise I’m pretty sure you’d think so.
Recently I started a new job, and by talking about the offered salary and benefits of the job with someone else, that person helped me to effectively negotiate the offer . Does it feel odd for me to know that someone else knows my salary? Yes a little, but the person who helped was glad to do it and I am extremely grateful to him for it. Sure, at the end of the day I was the one doing the negotiations, and yes, it was a bit awkward, but it was well worth it.
The point here is that Money shouldn’t be taboo. Not everyone is rich, and there is nothing wrong with that, but our culture has ingrained in us that money separates us and defines us. Nothing could be more wrong. Money is something that needs to be talked about by more people, finances cause people more stress than anything, and they are the number one cause for divorce; but if we would all be more open about money we might be able to help each other and it could all change.
Do you talk openly about money? Why or why not?
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6 Comments at "Why Is Money Taboo?"
This is a thought-provoking post. I was always under the assumption that salespeople didn’t have the authority to lower a price. Like in department stores.
I also remember, when I worked in an office, that it was against the rules to discuss your salary. I’m guessing that benefits the employer. Uprisings happen when the masses find out what the real deal is.
I also think that many people associate the amount of money they earn with their value as a person, so they avoid disclosing that information out of fear of appearing inferior to others.
Thanks for the comment! You’d be amazed what people will do if you are nice and ask. Even if they can’t lower the price, they may have an extra coupon lying around that you didn’t know about!
And to clarify, I am against talking about salaries in the work place or with co-workers. It can create hostility.
I don’t think it hurts for people to ask for a deal, but I wouldn’t want to be the guy asking to buy the $10.99 item for $8.99 all the time… I’d rather just pay the money and save the haggling for larger items. Contractors are another good one for bargaining with. A lot of the time they just throw a number out knowing it is inflated and most people don’t know any better and just pay it. I’ve seen large jobs 18-20K get 5K knocked off them in about a minute of bargaining… that’s where you can save some real money!
Personally I don’t like discussing salary or income with people I don’t know that well because it makes me uncomfortable and I don’t think it’s relevant. I also don’t like people judging me based on my financial status whether I am rich or poor. I had a girl ask me some rather prodding financial questions on a first date once which really irritated me. Discussing salary at work or with co-workers I think is a bad idea unless you are secure with what you’re making. I had a job once where I stumbled upon the department payroll and seeing what some people made vs. others can be really irritating when you know what they actually do around the place and would be enough to drive you crazy. haha.
I’m a money-person myself and agree that haggling can be effective. But as a business owner, I don’t always appreciate the notion of an employee discussing his or her salary. I suppose it could be beneficial, but some companies consider it unethical to “talk shop” in that way.
Still, perhaps it’s going to be a new wave of the future. If so, we’ll just have to get accustomed to operating in a more transparent way when it comes to our annual pays.
Scott
http://www.financialfuturecfo.com/blog
Great post, I completely agree about sharing finances.
I’m actually about the unveil my own finances on my own blog for several reasons, one of which is to begin breaking down this taboo which is completely unproductive.
Ryan @ Plantingdollars
The problem is that people in this country think that salary is a person’s worth. I admit I’m touchy about how little I make. A guy in my carpool said I was lucky because I get to keep 80% of the money I made. this made me angry is the reason I get taxed less is because I don’t make that much. The guy who made that statement probably makes about 10X more than I do.
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