A year ago Mary was pregnant and we needed an SUV, so the perfectly good 13 year old Acura with 167,000 miles on it had to go. We searched and test drove numerous vehicles and found the perfect car for us: a Volvo XC90. Being the frugal couple we knew we only were interested in used vehicles and miraculously a 2007 XC90 V8 Sport showed up on Craigslist; big, safe, all wheel drive, luxurious, low miles, and every option we wanted (and then some!). The seller (private party) had lost his job, could no longer make his payments on it, and he had to get rid of it ASAP…that’s where we stepped in to negotiate an incredible deal. What happened was [SOUND OF RECORD SCRATCHING]…
Have you ever noticed that when it comes to big ticket items everyone seems to have a story? Their car purchase, their house purchase, or their engagement ring purchase. Ok, maybe guys don’t really have engagement ring stories, but they make up for it by having a “ring guy” (seriously, ask any guy in a serious relationship how many people have offered to give them the name of their ring guy). The common theme in all of these stories is the awesome deal they got.
Think of the last person you know who got a new car, they were probably just as excited to show you the new car as they were to tell you the story of how they got the new car. They want to share every detail of the tense moment in the salesman’s office as if it were the showdown at the OK corral, but after the trying 5 hours at the dealership exchanging numbers – they prevailed to get their incredible deal!
Yes, your friend has a huge smile on their face and appears to be in heaven; but this is what is really going through their head as they show off the car/tell you the story: ”Isn’t my story amazing? I got such an amazing deal, right?…right? Oh God. Please help me validate this huge purchase I just made. Just nod, smile, and tell me how good of a deal I got. I just spent a lot of money, but I could have spent more…I restrained myself from spending more. I took the hard line! I needed this car; I mean my other one was about to die and the dealer gave me SUCH a good deal on the trade-in.”
I know this thought process because I’ve gone through it, and I’ve told my car buying stories numerous times. It may have come off as if I was bragging about the great deal I got, but it was mostly me just going through the thought process I laid out above.
It’s not bragging; it’s coping with and trying to rationalize the amount of money spent when far outside of a comfort zone. (I am still having trouble rationalizing the car purchase I started sharing above).
Maybe that’s why we have “guys” and share stories…we’ve all shared a common experience that made us uncomfortable and question what we were doing, but using a friends “guy” adds a degree of comfort, and hearing the story of someone else helps us calm down and feel better about what we just did because someone else did it too.
Or..maybe the real question is why do we spend money out of our comfort zones? Why do we feel compelled to purchase a diamond to ask someone to marry us? And why do we perpetuate this problem by volunteering our “guy” or sharing our story?
No related posts.
