I think about how he sees every moment as an opportunity to continue his Machiavellian rise to power, as he tells me “You are the Treasurer of this company.”  

This makes me smile until I remember that he conveniently left out “until the rest of the department returns from lunch.”

He understands me.  He knows that I volunteer to take on projects, get in early, and stay late so that I can “climb the corporate ladder,” and he feels my disappointment when I fail to get adequate recognition in my review.

He wants me to be more Machiavellian and point out the wasting of company time I view on a daily basis, “That will make you look better,” he says.  He then proceeds to shake his head as if to call me a hypocrite for writing this post at work.

He serves as both a source of joy in my day and as a constant reminder of my increase in “value” to my company after almost a year of work.  After all, the increase in my paycheck tomorrow, reflecting my first raise, is the price my wife paid for him to accompany me at work.

I turn to negative thinking and he he immediately counters my thoughts by shaking his head “no.” I look into his beady eyes, and I think about the joy he would receive from getting any raise, regardless of size, and I instantly feel ungrateful.

He tells me: “Wait until the new corporate website launches, that will be our day! Then we will get the recognition we deserve!”

I nod back in agreement.  I can wait two months until launch, to see what I have worked towards come to life.  Surely that will be my day!

He nods approvingly.

But if that recognition is not sufficient, I’ll leave, with my Dwight Schrute bobble head doll in hand.

Related posts:

1. What We Used to Have