What’s that you say? You’ve spent hours perfectly crafting every word in order to make yourself look fantastic on paper? You even read my advice on resume building? That’s very kind of you, but I repeat, no one cares, and here are 5 reasons why.

• Resumes are boring. No one wants to read them, not even recruiters. It’s a chore that takes time, and realistically the last time you did read one (instead of glance at it) was when you were writing your own.

• People are lying to protect your feelings. When was the last time you or someone you know told a friend you wouldn’t forward their resume on because it was crap? When was the last time you asked for resume advice and everyone told you it looked good? Friends think a lot of things, but very few friends will be brutally honest to help you, if no one is giving you constructive criticism try sending it to other people.

• Your resume won’t get you a job. Do you really think someone is going to hire you based on a piece of paper?

• You’re exaggerating. Everyone does it to a point, but did you really collaborate with the team on the $300 million dollar project, or did you just make copies for them? If by chance someone does read your resume, they are reading it with a skeptical eye and taking it with a grain of salt.

• You are sending it into a black hole. Applying online? Unless you have a persons e-mail address not a generic recruiting address, it will most likely never be seen by  a human eye. Even if you are sending it to a real persons address, remember it’s a chore to open it and they probably don’t want to.

With all this said, it’s true, no one cares about your resume, but you should still care. As much as it kills me to say it, resumes are still very important, and here are 5 reasons why:

• It’s not for other people, it’s for you. Your resume should be a running tally of every impressive thing you have done, and you should use it as a refresher to remind yourself of these things. It should be up to date whether you are job hunting or not, and when you accomplish something of note, write it down. You can always shorten your resume, it’s very hard to lengthen it. Know your resume backwards and forwards and be able to expand on everything on it without fumbling. Even know what doesn’t make the final cut, your resume will help you in the interview (but be careful to not only talk about what is on the resume).

• It is currently the most accepted way to showcase yourself. We are fast approaching the days when someone will say “send me your link” instead of “send me your resume,” some early adopters have already started this with LinkedIn, however, for the time being the resume is still the most accepted way to showcase yourself.

• Key words help you get a foot in the door. Remember that black hole I wrote about? There is a way out, and that is through key words. More often than not applying to a generic recruiting e-mail address will send your resume into a software program in which it will be looking for key words. If it matches the key words, then someone might look at your resume to see if you fit the bill and invite you in for an interview. So remember to use industry language. (Note: although this is my most hated form of applying for a job, I actually did get my current position this way. It never hurts, but don’t get your hopes up.)

• Be true to yourself. A little embellishment is expected but always be true to yourself and NEVER lie on a resume. Lying on a resume is career suicide and it will come back to haunt you. It is better to not get the job by being honest, than to get it by lying. Just ask George O’Leary, former head coach at Notre Dame who was forced to resign because he lied on his resume.

• It won’t make you, but it can break you. First impressions are important, and the resume is frequently someones first impression of you. While it may not make you, it can definitely break you, so in the off chance that someone actually looks at your resume, it needs to be easy to read and perfect. One misspelled word and you are through.

As Gen-Y becomes more of a staple in the work place I see a lot of this changing, particularly the accepted resume format. I believe we will transition to websites with professional bios being the standard (non-boring) way to showcase yourself. But in the meantime, I’ll continue my love/hate relationship with resumes.

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Over the last year I have tried to share some of what I have learned through a variety of posts, most notably: Getting a Job: The Resume, Getting a Job: Networking, and My Mandatory Class Proposal.  But a few months ago I was contacted by a reader who told me to read a book that covered similar issues, so I took the opportunity and read it.

Getting from College to Career: 90 Things to Do Before You Join the Real World, by Lindsey Pollak is a book that I wish I would have read two years ago, but I’m just as glad that I read it now.  

Geared toward the of short attention spans of gen-y, Lindsey writes 90 small blog-like bites so it’s easy to digest and not overbearing to the reader.  In fact, she goes so far as to include a directive to action at the end of each tip to ensure that you take time to think about it and use it more as a step by step tool to your success instead of reading it like a typical book.

Covering a range of topics from what I have recommended (reading the newspaper, getting a professional e-mail address, and watching classic movies) to creative approaches to networking and interviewing like getting active in your alumni association before you graduate and creating a “brag book” of all of your achievements, Ms. Pollak successfully conveys a process that isn’t easy to teach or even learn.  To drive the points home she often inserts interesting success stories from real people who applied these tactics.

Knowing how cocky I was when I graduated, I already knew it all and I probably would not have read this book, but if I could go back in time and force feed this book to who I was then I would do it.  With that said, the advice in the book isn’t just relevant for recent grads looking for their first jobs, it’s highly relevant to those young and old looking to learn or brush up on the basic business and life skills such as networking, resume writing, and various self improvement projects (Tip 59. “Perform Five Minutes of Stand Up Comedy” is something that I have always wanted to do).

If you are worried about getting a job, interviewing for a new job, or even if you recently got laid off, I highly recommend picking up a copy of the book, and I can guarantee you’ll learn some new tricks.

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The business students look at the Liberal Arts majors and think “What in the Hell are they going to do when they graduate? How will they support themselves? Maybe they will just disappear to the shores of Walden Pond…”

Excuse me if I’m wrong, I was always on the business students side, but those studying Liberal Arts look at the business students and think “All their work is so easy! I’m not in school to get a training, I’m here to get an education!”

To be fair, everyone seems to respect the Science and Engineering majors.

In college I was a member of the University Honors Program, which essentially meant that I (and 30-ish other students) took different core curriculum than the rest of the students.  And then we would have to write a thesis in order to graduate with an undergrad degree (something the rest of the University didn’t have to do).  I was also a business student (after spending 3 semesters in Film School) and I graduated with a degree in Finance and Entrepreneurship.

With that said, I absolutely hated the Honors program.  I hated it so much that I went in to the director of the program to ask out of it, he said I could, but that I would have to retake all of the basic University core.  I wasn’t about to take any extra classes, so out of laziness I stayed in. 

I stayed in through Faust, Dante, Sophocles, Plato, Aristotle, Friedman, Darwin, Dawkins, Antigone, and the list goes on…and on… and on.  I hated every minute of it.  I was writing 20 page papers while my other friends were writing 2 paragraph summaries.  As a result of my being discouraged and feeling stuck I was one of 3 or 4 underacheivers in the whole group, I was also the first to realize that like a Harvard student, you can’t fail out.  B- was the lowest grade I could be given which was to the detriment of my GPA.

Looking back on my years in college I have to say that I am thankful for the training I received in my business classes, but I am more thankful for the education I received through the Liberal Arts focused honors program.  Because of the Honors program I am more diversified.  I am able to hold high level conversations with my elders, drop jokes that only a handful of people in the room get, and I’m better at working with people who think differently than I do (or is it that they think along the norm and I think differently?).  Also, because of my film classes I am able to better relate to movies other generations grew up with, the classics that I’d be willing to bet most of Gen-Y hasn’t seen.

One of the best things we can do to improve our lives and our business relationships is to diversify and further educate ourselves outside of what we normally find interesting. Through continuing education and diversifying our lives we become more interesting people and we are able to speak and network with more interesting people.  You’ll be shocked to know how much diversifying your knowledge will help you network and relate to other people.

I hated every minute of my liberal arts education in the honors program, I was surrounded by people who I knew wouldn’t make any money, but I am extremely thankful that I finished the program, and most of my friends from the program are on their way to making good money.

Take a class at a community college, pick up an old classic that you read in High School and have since forgotten, watch Casablanca or Gone With The Wind.   My next step is to learn more about my worst subjects in school: Biology.  Diversify your life.

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Last week I wrote a resume crash course called “Getting a Job: The Resume”, and now that you’ve got your resume put together, it’s time to start meeting people.  Sure you can apply to job listings online, and no it isn’t exactly a waste of time, but in actuality the best jobs are found through existing relationships. 

Now it’s time to start creating those relationships through networking.  This week I’ve written some pointers for effective networking.

• Read the news, especially the Wall Street Journal every morning.  Pay for a subscription if you don’t have it.  This is prime conversation material, that you are able to use in any situation.  Plus, it sounds really cool and intelligent the first few times you hear yourself say “there was an article about this in the Wall Street Journal last week.”  You’ll be surprised how often you’ll reference it, and how much you’ll learn
• Everything is a networking opportunity. EVERYTHING.
• You aren’t shy anymore.  You are confident and assertive. That means firm handshakes, making eye contact, and speaking confidently like you are sure of yourself and comfortable in the environment.  People remember good handshakes and confidence, but they also remember weak handshakes and lack of confidence, this is your first impression, make it count.
• Listen and bond with them over something.  You need a memorable conversation, a Wall Street Journal article would come in handy here.
• Get the business card and stay in contact using the “bond” or memorable conversation.  Following up the next day is the key to networking.  Without the follow up, you are just an acquaintance, if they will even remember you.
• You want a relationship, do not ask for a job.  If the person asks what you do, be honest, say you just graduated, and you’re looking for something in (insert field here).  Don’t get too specific, A friends boyfriend who was straight out of school once told me that he wanted to do PR for a sports team or a Zoo.  A year later, he was still jobless, my friend had broken up with him (because of his joblessness), and he was still looking to do PR with a sports team or a zoo.  No one wants to help you when you box yourself in, it is best to swallow your pride and realize your first job may not be your dream job.
• Ask for advice.  People love it when you ask their advice.  It makes them feel respected and important, most importantly, they will want to help. 
• Everyone has been in your shoes, and everyone remembers what it is/was like looking for a job straight out of school, let them help you, many people will want to.  You’ll be surprised.
• Use their contacts. Ask them if they know of anyone who might be willing to sit down and talk with you, even if they aren’t hiring.  Remember, you are looking for a relationship.  Sometimes you need to cannibalize the off chance of getting a job offer with one person in order to get an introduction to that persons contact list, but make sure that everyone knows you are looking for a job.
• Have a personal elevator speech.  You have to be prepared for everything.  Be ready for the question of “why should a company hire you?”  You have to be able to perform this on the spot.
• Don’t turn down an opportunity.  Force yourself to be active and social.  You never know who someone knows, and you never know how an opportunity could arise.

The bottom line is that you have to make the most of every opportunity presented to you in life, when you do this you meet incredible people and build your network.

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